countdown...

hey lovelies :) :) hope you're all waking up to a great sunday. it's raining here and the temp dropped like 10 degrees...but i am SO okay with this. the only problem is that we're having a joint family birthday celebration thing tonight and using the bbq, so hopefully it dries up a bit by then. my brother' birthday was a few weeks ago and mine is tomorrow so i guess we have our own family bdays and this year an additional joint one so that we can see some of the extended family. i'm a bit nervous, i usually don't do this and its either friends, and/or just close family. plus im freaking out a bit because i have like...hmm 35 hours left till i turn 21 gahhh. and i'm not just saying this to oh-so-subtly point out that it's my birthday tomorrow...:) i'm just really nervous aha..

no breaky pic today as i'd prepared it all, actually a large pot of red river for the famjam and my batteries were doooood. so i will just describe it, maybe find an old pic?

oh wow this is from uni :) with my old honey bear, rip. the contents are inedible now i think, and i can't seem to find a pure honey in a honeybear container

on it though was a bit of flax granola stuff, a few frozen rasps, cinnamon, wheat germ, skim and then a bit of banana mixed in.

so...i hope tonight goes well. we're having like steak and stuff and it's also for my brother and he would be unhappy with my choices in food i think :) i haven't had too much meat lately, esp red meat and its just much of a food issue to do with like fearing the cals/fat/whatnot but i don't want my stomach to get messed up. i think i'll just have a bit. and cake :) ooo and sweet potatoes a lot of things are going to go on the barbecue so that's cool!

i hope the family doesn't ask too much about things like work, since i'm desperately stillll looking for something this spring/summer/break from uni and that's really not good! but i love seeing my cousin she's just like 5 years older than i am and i don't see her too often, yet she's sort of moved back closer (used to live a lot further away out of the country) so that's neat that i can see her more often soon. this is random but yesterday i walked with my parents and they got this ice cream thing but i asked if i could get something of equal value...somewhere else..so we went to the health shoppe and i got another larabar for later :) banana mmmm love that one. and for my birthday i asked if we could go over this upcoming week and pick a few things out, i think i'm going to try the lemon one. i'm normally not into like citrus things as a bar, but maybe this will be more like dessert? because it is just fruit and nuts plus i like lemon squares :P anyone tried it? does it taste like that??? in my lil stash i have a cherry pie one which i think i've tried before a year or so ago...and then that's all so i want to get a few more.


i tried this one, it was good but tasted like the banana one base...
just without bananas



this morning i went for a short walk, and as a warning this is going to be annoying here but, okay it was rainy out plus i was hungry so i didnt want to go for long before making the breakfast stuff, but (and my dad is really lovely and kind and supportive so i don't mean to make him out as anything but) he was like 'why don't you go for longer' and always seems to want me to walk more or run, and i've cut back and i told him that it's not the best to over do things as well, and i get sensitive about that stuff and it makes me want to just do more and more and more...and he said well under isn't good but overdoing it is fine, i mean with you...and i did not know what he said by that but ughh wanted to like go for an hour because of it. and i should just ignore this stuff but i don't understand since so much of the stuff he says goes against the other, like he'll mention that i need to eat more, and then say go for a longer walk, or run. and often it's me i mean he doesn't outright say it i just take things in a certain way, so in the morning i might be going out the door for a walk and he says 'have a nice run!!!!' and i wasn't planning on running, but he says it every morning almost and i hardly run that much. sorry if this is just ridiculous but i just had to say all that. like i don't think he understands that overexercising is pretty much a form of ridding cals in some way, yet he's fine if i do that as long as i eat...but it's almost the same thing if im burning stuff like crazy, i just hate how this all gets to me, because then i think maybe im not small and i'm just thinking about what i used to be a while ago, and really i've gained and perhaps i'm actually too heavy and i just see myself differently. plus im noticing that i am doing much less exercise so i feel like i'm doing way little, its like i can only do one extreme or another and that's dumb.

phefff okay totally another subject change is necessary, i want this post to be happyyyy :D

a few outfits...



awkkk pose there :) i actually had a towel on my head from getting out of the shower so i cut that part out :P

ohh hey dur

today's first outfit :) i will change later...


mmm i am craving a ginger chew but i'm finished my package so hopefully this week i can go get more :) i'm so bad, like when i get it i eat like a few a day and they don't last long. but i lovee them. anyone tried them? or i have i mentioned this before...

okay well we've been cleaning up the house a tad for company so i should get back to that...:) i hope everyone had a good week, weekend, and everything, and if you're out of school i hope your summer is going really well :D

lots of love