decisions and regrets

hey lovelies :):)

how are you???

breakfast today was something not-so-new...plain oats with ginger, cinnamon, banana and topped with some almonds, a bit of pb+co operation smooth, kashi honey sunshine, multigrain cereal squares and a bit of non fat soy milk (i rarely have this because it comes in just a larger container which i cannot finish before it goes bad, but i was at home today!)...this was after a short run, shower, etc.

eeeeek i posted last time about my parents, and how they were in new orleans, and i hoped they would get some flavours we don't have in canada. they DID :D i didn't expect that, but one day they biked for like 8 hours, and went to a few destinations in including the one whole foods in the area i believe, and picked up the above plus they had lunch there. i was jealous, i've seen photos of people eating there and getting yummy tofu, and they had prepared salads but my mom, who doesn't usually say anything like this, was like hmm it was a very nice whole foods store. i had only mentioned one luna bar (the oatmeal raisin) so they got 3 of those, and since they were 5/5 dollars (um holy okay half the price they are here, even though our dollar is better then the states right now grrr) and the only one i had tried in the bag was the cranberry because they picked out a blueberry one which i haven't tried!!! and two each of the laras, cinnamon roll + gingersnap, never had those! gosh im way too excited for this...

i find that i want to post more, thus...i post more. simple, but i was having a difficult time posting even once a month a while ago, and contemplated just stopping. not deleting as i would feel a bit empty. i know i'll have to delete or remove sections, and the idea that nothing ever "erases" on the internet is daunting. i want to have a career and move on and just, not be defined by anything and i don' think anyone i know (apart from girls/boys from blogs) knows i have this. i want to keep it that way. but i also don't want to be like, oh this is just for me and i'll remove whatever when i want, etc because it's been helpful and i've received a great deal of support from amazing individuals like yourselves, plus there's just something about writing here, documenting, trying to find beauty in food through photos, memories, descriptions. and inspiration from others that i just love so much. i don't want to lose that, ever.

i took such a nice walk on wednesday, and it was sort of unplanned. i meant to just go for like 15 min only (i used to exercise a lot, well more than now. and i hardly do much, apart from short walks and a few short ish runs a week, though i really try to do some form every day, its not like before). anyway, partially i know its because i was losing so i felt that it wasn't too necessary, but i knew that when i felt heavier or what not i'd want to do more again :/ but this walk was around my neighbourhood then into a large cemetery in the city. its so beautiful though, i just love walking in cemeteries and, perhaps its morbid. i like reading inscriptions because they offer history and insight into people's lives, and this cemetery is old with just trees that have history, they're huge and the entire area is maintained in warmer weather. i didn't plan it but i walked and it felt really calming. but i can't say i wasn't thinking about anything, that's just always going to happen. but i didn't feel rushed or anything.

i've been wanting to take more chances with breakfast. i seem to be the minority here and i read with bloggers who love oatmeal breakies, that they're scared to branch out to others, even cold cereal. while i have oatmeal occasionally i usually feel the need to put cold on top, mix the two. (not all together usually) i don't know its odd. i mean, often im super full with mine, but sometimes still hungry...so what am i afraid of? i could have the same reaction with oats. and it would likely be less calories unless i added a ton of things. so its not that...and aren't oats supposed to be easier on the stomach? maybe not....well after reading a lot of posts and oatmeal creations by this lovie i saved quite a few inspirations and i'm determined to try some. in a bit. for now i'll have the lovely oaties a bit more often than i have. it could be cheaper too :P have like 8-10 different types of cereal/cold in my kitchen pretty much :/ i think i also have a regret thing, regretting choosing a over b or what not. and i feel like my breakfast won't be "right" thus it will ruin my day. and i have made poor breakfasts before. oh gee decisions :/ life :/ too hard sometimes :P honestly its the last thing i should be focusing on right now, i must get my priorities straight! :/ (triple sigh..) the amount of thoughts going on at a time in my mind, mostly surrounding several different anxieties is ridiculous. and for this. i mean its just breakfast...right?

scottish oats with tons of ginger and a date, almond raisin granola, kashi go lean and skim

so i sort of tried that out...it would be cool to even try like pancakes or muffins or waffles, haven't had something like that in awhile.

to get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time,
but we must keep on stepping. (Chinese proverb)

i want to start introducing a quote at the end of posts, if i can, at every one. i love to read and i think words are so unique and can affect your mood. depending on what is written of course. but i often find myself wanting to copy down things i read in novels, outside anywhere or on calendars. they often have the best quotes :P (the one above was on my calendar for may)

i'm supposed to go away for a few days to my cottage, and sort things out. no it's not for that :/ but i hope it goes well (and that i do sort something out), and i hope you all have a great weekend/beginning of next week/and so on...

bye for now :) xox