oaties and love

hey lovelies :):)

originally from louveciennes

this morning's breakfast looked similar to the above, plain oats in water with cinnamon and ginger, yet i added a ginger-slice and a mixture of cold cereal on top (plain cheerios, multigrain life, rice crispies, kashi go lean...few tbsp or so of each) and skim milk. however i had coffee and not tea. i had herbal tea later though multiple times

it was a regular instant oat package, no sugar but not the same as less refined oats. however i thought it was nice, they seem to have a poor reputation among many however, aside from perhaps scottish, large flake or steel cut oats i think they're close to quick oats, and when in the microwave they fluff up, and it just tastes like plain unsweetened oatmeal, so you can add what you like :) i don't really like the sweetened ones and not just for cals/ed reasons but the taste. i find them too sweet. i feel a bit better if i get the plain ones, these were just a normal store brand but i often (well not often but sometimes) get the multigrain ones or organic, not sure if that makes much of a difference but the texture is a change from just plain. i also make it with a kettle/hot water poured on top, if im having these instead of stovetop, which makes it chewy, as a texture and not fluffy like the other way, it's neat to get different outcomes and types of oats (as long as its good though).

anywho i'm sure you're all fascinated by my thoughts on how to change the way oats taste :P


breakfast at my family home on saturday morning (past), quick oats in water with apple :) and lots of cinnamon and ginger, topped with almonds, life cinnamon cereal, touch of milk added afterward. it was not naturally sweet with the apple as it does with banana. i don't add sugar (sometimes honey..) but otherwise its not sweetened unless i put banana in and then there are little bits of sweetness. so i added a prune partway through. ohhh flexibility eh? aha right :S...

im getting a bit worried that im eating foods with high gi's...when i first learned about the glycemic index and realised that losing weight or what not might not depend entirely on how much (cals or fat) you have but the food itself...i pretty much stopped having white flour, bananas, honey or sugar if i could, cereal like rice crispies, even graham crackers. and now i eat a lot of bananas and lately since i've been having pretty severe stomach issues, i try not to have white flour in bread for example (if i can help it) but have graham crackers at times instead of whole grain cereal for example as a snack, or like don't have my entire bowl of cereal composed of granola or completely whole grain cereal (like all multigrain or wheat squares) and put a bit of rice crispies for example. not white flour but rice based (and it's not brown rice) which is high on the scale right? im scared too that i'll get like diabetes or something and think that if my weight is lower and what not, if im having these foods i might get something :/ but i try not to have sugar, i mean added sugar much in terms of deserts, however i have honey. its natural but still sugar i guess...i dunno im just sort of confused. i went from eliminating all of this (i was at a higher weight than now...which is partly why i never thought it was an issue if i was at a much lower weight now) to adding things back in. i do these extremes sort of, one side to the next.

a breakfast from last wednesday, rolled oats/large flake with...ahh i think banana or a date cooked in with cinnamon and ginger, topped with some dry cereal, almonds, skim. which oddly looks like creme here :/

its just i don't have someone to ask and if i did it would sound odd because they might think im just fishing for more ways to lose. and im not seeing a dietician or any doctor related to eds at the moment. im a bit focused i guess on other medical/emotional issues that are most important at the moment. and i know often when we're recovering from eds we might resort to eating completely 'whole' foods, often veggie/vegan perhaps (sometimes not always!!!) to make it easier to consume more and gain the weight. so i feel completely off and just a bit worried with what i've been doing. like i'm just going to balloon one day :/ and never go back down because i ate high gi foods which apparently lead to like a long lasting gain (well it says you maintain the lower weight when eating a low gi diet so im assuming the opposite is, well, the opposite...) im not having like high sugar white foods etc as my diet. but ive included certain ones back in that i sort of rely on. like bananas :(

outfit of black skinny jbrands (worn to death really....) along with my old black ballet bodysuit (it looks like a fitted black cami, and i should get some of those, cinched in the middle) and an uo cropped tshirt, it falls from the shoulder naturally (honestly i don't try to pose in any way, besides sometimes to the side because of my face), and this was not the nicest photo. my camera died and i could only do a webcam awkward arm out type of shot. BUT i just wanted to show a photo of the top :( and debated whether i should show it because of a comment i received regarding the aspect of trying to pose and show certain parts of my body. i just want to clear that up. not intentional :/ it's simply how the shirt sits (falls?) on anyone. okay phewf done.

i only did ballet for a year or so in grade ten, and otherwise my main sport was swimming when i was younger, competitive for like 8 or so years. and gymnastics prior to that but i had to choose between the two. i remember in swimming for meets we'd have the smallest suits and it would kill my shoulders and we'd walk around with the straps off otherwise it would hurt, and when our race/swim was up next we would brave it :P and put the straps on. the smallest ones apparently would make us go a bit faster, not lag as much :/ yea i dunno...but this one girl was thin but taller than me and she had a smaller suit size and i was like whaaat? how does it fit? it wasn't measured on the waist i think it was like length and it was never really a weird ed thing, no competition or anything. though in gymnastics it was, and i remember all of us getting measured and people would keep it to themselves usually but i felt okay if mine was a smaller size. and i was like 8 or so :/ sad, really.

i just opened a package of this stuff (and i believe i mentioned it before but ohh well..) it's called ginger slices. it's really just i guess a chewy ginger with just sugar and something that makes it thicker. it's not at all like ginger chews (the ginger people) which i love love love. this isn't as 'hot' but it tastes like actual fresh ginger. i disliked it sort of when i tried it at first but i wanted to continue as i bought a container, so i ended up finishing it. and that one was at my family home but i have one for my place now yeee. i like it also (sort of, perhaps it will taste better next time) cut up in oats if i don't have a banana in it. it is nice in a gingersnap, so i added some when i made those a few weeks ago. i just got it from of the local grocery stores, the main brand they stock that has a variety of fruit, nuts, etc in containers. its yum though:P

SUCCESS. it is not the position you stand, but the direction in which you look

- on a lovely poster (but rather used) in my room, inherited i believe from my brother, but the photograph is what's captivating, a scenery shot with trees, a long winding river leading to mountains in the background and an orange sunset, representing the visual "success" point i guess.

i'll leave you with boots that i want so badly...well i have lower ones a bit like these so a bit higher up, and more combat-y...and i'd likely leave them open actually as im lazy so perhaps these are fine :P

that's all for right now, hope everyone is doing well (or getting there...) lots of love