hey lovelies :):)

its august :):) the only thing that excites me is that autumn is soon :P i sort of missed the end of the month, i mean normally i remember that it's the thirtieth or thirty-first (or twenty eighth for february) but today i just realised the new month had already begun! i've been at my cottage for about five days which was nice, and im not sure when i'll be up. it was emotionally and physically lovelyyy to get away from the city, even though i was studying a great deal of the time, and it wasn't an extremely long trip.

today's breakfast...i went for a short run in the rain, it was humid (not so nice) and after getting ready i enjoyed this, i thought i'd just demonstrate the whole picture:


plain oats with banana, cinnamon & ginger, almonds added afterward, along with a few tbsp each almond-raisin-granola + organic wheat squares (soaked in non-fat soy-milk in the turquoise cup :P)...plus some coffee.

and im so full, like i don't understand what's wrong, i had this a few hours ago but sometimes i eat a little and my stomach kills, i feel like swollen or something, other times i eat and feel like i just didn't eat anything...:/

i'm feeling a bit more motivated, but at the same time even more stressed :/ gahhh does that usually happen? its sort of annoying. and sleep-wise, sometimes i do, often i hardly do and i'm having so much trouble falling asleep some nights/mornings and don't want to be resorting to meds or something each time. not that it even helps. but i just wish that i didn't stress about it quite as much, as i realise that makes it worse.

but...a new month, a new (ish) start and this upcoming fall is the beginning of something for me, and i must be happy and motivated and just not the way i am now...otherwise i'll end up being feeling disappointed.

*****

but this past weekend and more was fairly nice, there are always a lot of issues but anywho not the moment to dwell on that...

shredded wheat bites, almonds, banana, skim milk & coffee, after a morning run :)

old fashion/rolled oats in water with 1/2 cooked pear, strawberry + cinnamon, topped with non-fat soy milk and a melange of golden raisins and almonds

by the way golden raisins...ahhh my gosh they are lovelyyy. like green grapes, i realise thats the stupidest thing to say but i've traditionally eaten darker raisins, so i guess these ones were a nice change and less sweet.

enjoyed with a view :)

the last morning: old fashion oats in water & cinnamon with banana + apple (shared with my mom) along with almonds + a prune, non fat soy milk as well

...i think that's my brother (i didn't take this photo obviously...im pretty sure i was in the cottage at the time :P)

saw the last harry potter with one of my best friends, but i'm okay with it i decided. i still have the books. it wasn't as scary as i thought, maybe since i've been re-reading the series so much? i feel like they will always be there. when the last book came out, well that was when i felt a bit lost, like it was over. but i don't think it ever is. that's what i love about books. and films too.

i studied a lot, notes for one of my final exams and i felt so motivated, i honestly think i retained more information than i had this whole year. that sounds awful. but i just felt happy for a bit.

and now im back, and i just feel like i have no more excuses, for anything, i have my last three exams very shortly and my whole life which needs to be organized and i can't mess up anymore. i can't fail anything else and i just need to be a lot stronger. i hope you're all doing well though :) and thank you so much for being so sweet, and lovely, and amazing :P

xoxox