wednesday, fall, november, baking, stuck...

hey lovelies :):)

breakfast was yummy, described below :) i promise i will get back into taking photos a bit more regularly



i made another video :) ahhhh. yes. i like doing this, even if you don't like watching them :P

when i was at home recently (as i normally just bake there, so i can use the dishwasher & not have to wash everything like in my apartment) i made a few things with wheat germ :) i don't typically have it on cereal like i used to, though i'd like to get back into that. but i looove wheat germ and its nice in cookies & muffins. anne lindsay has a few cookbooks and i grew up eating many healthy recipes that my mom made from the books that we own. there is one for "wheat germ raisin muffins"...and i think you should make it :P unless you don't like wheat germ:

1 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup wheat germ (i used bob's red mill...he's my lover)
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups milk
1 egg; beaten

In bowl, combine flour, wheat germ, sugar, baking powder
and salt; stir in raisins. Combine off, milk and egg;
pour into flour mixture and stir
just until combined. Spoon into nonstick or paper lined muffin
tins, filling each three-quarters full.
Bake in 375 F oven for 18 to 20 minutes or
until firm to the touch.

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this is a photo of the wheat-germ-ww-raisin-chocolate-walnut...cookies.
the recipe called for dried cranberries & semi-sweet chocolate chips, along with walnuts.
but i used large thompson raisins for the dried fruit, and i tried a bit! i think dark chocolate pairs nicely with wheat germ.

i've been re-reading, for the i have no idea number of times, the harry potter series when im home. sine i have to be reading something at all times...i need to read before bed & make sure i always have a book on hand. its sad how many times i've read these...

i just realised that, if i lived in the society in 'the giver', i would have been released. i'd be likely...labelled inadequate. if you haven't read it, well this will be very confusing, and maybe i just think too much. but by the way please read it as it's quite good :) its sort of sad, the rosemary character, who was given memories of loneliness...she was shocked, and didn't know that feelings like that existed. and asked for her own release...i think she was sad, depressed perhaps. and that type of society didn't understand any of that. it just shows that, what we might wish for, a perfect society, everything in place, 'safety' and feelings of 'safe' versus 'fear'...it's not always better. that type of society, although completely fictional i realise and not possible (though its supposed to be far in the future)...it would never work. or if it did, i couldn't even imagine living like that. either you are like the rest of society, and are born just the same, and don't have feelings or memories, you don't know how life would be any other way...or you're different, special and, like jonas, singled out to learn about feelings and have the memories of the past transferred into your mind. you learn how to love and to truly feel for another person. but, because the rest of the society does not have 'feelings', they can't share it with you. im not sure what would be worse, not having feelings, memories, not being able to love someone...or to have all of those but not be able to get it in return.

does that make any sense? sometimes i fear that i just over-analyse things, and that i'll say something to someone (or write something on here) and people will be like...whaaa? i get self-conscious & paranoid that i going crazy or something. because it makes sense in my mind but if it comes out as confusing or jumbled or just weird...then im losing it or something. :P

that's all really, i have had some changes, some new things going on which i guess is good but so far out of my comfort zone. a silly name since im never comfortable and always stressed. but somehow trying to control my environment and life and schedule seems safer...i might talk about it next time though i feel odd sharing too much, as this is public. it has to do with work i guess, life, careers. which is supposed to be exciting. so i just need to figure a few things out and mention it when i'm a bit more relaxed. ugh, idk when that will happen :/ until next time. xoxoxoxox

ohhhh ps ps ps i tried steel cut oats yesterday morning! i made them, i actually did :D and i cooked it for nearly an hour. but i think i had the heat a bit too high throughout, or near the beginning as they were a bit chewy and when i had them in new york they were fluffy. so perhaps i should have it on lower? or maybe not cover it (bob said to cover and simmer...for ten minutes. but he also said that it would be chewier that way...i read it but didn't listen i guess. duhhh jen..) so i will try again, when im at home. and have more time in the morning. but i took a chance, and i tried something new. which is big for me, although that sounds a tad pathetic :P that's all :)