a very belated

hey lovelies :):)

i recently realised (when i began this post on Feb twelfth...yep)...that i was close to a year old (my bloggie that is..) and thought to post on my one year anniversary. but, um i missed it? the twelfth of the month would have been it. so sad, i guess that sort of hints at something, that i haven't been that far, that i haven't grown, neither has this :( it sort of went by without my realisation (knowledge?), i mean who forgets a birthday??? ma badd. but im wishing my bloggie a very happy belated birthday, one year old :)

well...breakfast today was multigrain oats with some yummy dried mango
and cinnamon and ginger before cooking.....and the add-ins consisted of 5 almonds,
skim, blueberry-date-almond muesli, LiFe cereal + wheat germ

it resembled this slightly from last year, sans banana though (mine are green...i usually have a collection of different variations of ripeness but i failed this time)

i do hope i have a few readers, even one or two. but i haven't been reliable as a blogger, and i've tried to comment on others as much as i can. lack of any of this can't be blamed entirely on time...often i just felt not right, and didn't know what to post or comment, and was too upset (lame) to post on others, you know when you just don't know what to say?

i've just had a difficult few weeks, or month, well let's just say 2011 in general :( i try to cope with things, and find certain happy moments and ways to release and what not...

i love to watch this, elle fanning has one, and a few other actors.
i adore the black and white, and the theme of films, childhood, etc.

reading helps me to escape, not because i'm ignoring things but just to try and cope: "inspiration"

i love looking at photos, posting on tumblr (reblog reblog reblog)...and dreaming...

you know what, i'm making a pact with myself. if thats even possible as it usually involves two people. whatever. it will be the good and strong me, and the 'bad' me worsened by my fears and phobias and disordered hell-eff-bitch self.

i'm not sure if i'll be posting here, i really want to. when i come back to it i realise how i love it, it just provides this sense of like...self, being, a point really? you reflect on things you've done and either feel shitty or sort of pleased. i can't explain it well but i just like to do it. i love pictures, and i want to work on my photography, my camera isn't working well at the moment, and i might look to invest in something really great. but i'll still use the one i have, i just need to get it working, get into practice, and just take photos.

not simply of food, i like photos of food but don't enjoy taking them sometimes as it ruins the experience of eating, and i don't take lovely ones like those i find on weheartit, other blogs, tumblr :P

so i hope to be back at some point, i also need to work on a few things, sounds like a broken record but im serious this time, no excuses no anythings because if not now then, when? honestly jen..it's bad :(

i do hope you're doing well, i don't know if anyone will read this but, if so then i appreciate it more than i can describe