hey lovelies :):)

this morning i went for a run, and a bit later on had breakfast:

bite-size shredded wheat, small bit of kashi plain wheat puffs, banana, almonds, skim milk, cinnamon&ginger

...so, i think a lot of people are back at school. i don't know why im commenting on this but i guess its just a normal regular thing though im not going back anymore. for canadians we start much later though, well like september unless you're a frosh at uni moving in. i can't really believe its almost that month. i guess i've been waiting for autumn but its strange, summer is nearly over. i sort of feel as though mine was wasted. i wanted the heat to be gone, i wasn't doing that well in many aspects, working on school stuff, just not enjoying life essentially. and now its over. i don't want the rest of my life to be that way though.

a breakfast from last saturday

plain oats with banana, almonds, a bit of bite-size shredded wheat & almond-raisin granola in almond milk :)
and some coffee...enjoyed after a morning run

my parents have this book that they've read a few times, sort of an 'optimism' book from the library. and they actually bought me a copy. so we could have one at the family home to read a lot. and they've been pushing me to read it insisting it will help me. i will :) i just want to finish what i have started now so i can concentrate on it and complete it fully like reading any other novel. it's called "don't sweat the small stuff" and in brackets (and it's all small stuff). i've been quite negative/pessimistic...if that's not obvious :P and they keep saying that it will never get better for me if my attitude is like this, and i understand that. but i feel like the negative comes first, and then i react. its like i feel as though its not my fault. i try to be positive and its like im hit continuously with bad things. i realise im grateful and the things that bother me are not always severe to other people. but i always say, why can't the positive thing happen first, then i'll react with a better attitude and try to turn things around...but i don't think it works that way.

"She made herself stronger by fighting with the wind."
— Frances Hodgson Burnett (The Secret Garden)

i have to go. but i hope you're doing well. i don't want to post this but, my aunt (who's been ill) is likely going to pass away, well i hate saying this because i want her to be okay...but my mom and the rest of the family are at the hospital now to be with her. i really hope she'll pull through but, i don't know :( i just wish these things didn't happen. i love her and i feel so awful for my mom, her sisters, and of course my aunt's two sons. she means so much to them, and though they've 'prepared' themselves for this over the past year since the diagnosis, it's still so difficult. i want her to be okay, so i will just try to keep positive in that sense. xoxox