i want to should delete that last post because of how awfully negative it is.
i had not posted (semi) regularly in so long, and only wrote a short note after my cat died in january. i think it would have been best to just leave it at that. prior to that post, i had not written in a few years. i also thought that the post signified a new chapter, as i left one week later for ip and just never came back to writing. i miss writing things down here, however negative they may be.
i have an instagram, but it's just not the same. a main deterrent for me is that it's all done on a phone and i find it so hard to write so much from my phone ;P i can't write that fast and constantly have typos. plus, some people that i know in real life can see it, which makes me a bit uncomfortable. i guess i just felt like expressing myself more through writing, and not simply either in my head or aloud to my unfortunate family members. they don't deserve that :( i'm not sure what to do. i might just keep doing this and then eventually delete specific ones. i don't want to delete my blog; partly, because of the time that i put into it, and also because it just documents so much of my life that i would feel like i was erasing something important (even if no one else sees it). i think that's why i haven't deleted it, even though i haven't posted regularly in several years. at the time i had very few readers, but now they are all gone, and i've never properly moved on. so i guess that's why i'm back here. i can't really move on. i think it's mainly because i'm still so unwell (more mentally now i guess, as i am physically--on the outside--at a better place than i have been in the past several years)...i just can't let go of things. mentally and internally (gut, ibs, etc) things are a completely wreck. that's not new news to this blog though ;) i've shared a few too many complain and tmi posts that were probably not well-appreciated.
i started this a little while back, but i think i want to finish it. i just feel like writing, just to express myself a bit that doesn't involve other people ;P it looks like fall (autumn) but it's actually quite warm. where i live it's unseasonably warm, actually, but the leaves are still beginning to change. i love autumn. i love the colours, the temperatures, the styles. i have some negative memories or associations with this season (i think i do with all of them though, and that might be true for everyone) but i try to also take note of what i love about it.
i hope i can stop by occassionally to share little snippets (to no one, but that's okay) and some day they might actually be a little bit positive. that's all for now, though.
xoxjennifer
i had not posted (semi) regularly in so long, and only wrote a short note after my cat died in january. i think it would have been best to just leave it at that. prior to that post, i had not written in a few years. i also thought that the post signified a new chapter, as i left one week later for ip and just never came back to writing. i miss writing things down here, however negative they may be.
i have an instagram, but it's just not the same. a main deterrent for me is that it's all done on a phone and i find it so hard to write so much from my phone ;P i can't write that fast and constantly have typos. plus, some people that i know in real life can see it, which makes me a bit uncomfortable. i guess i just felt like expressing myself more through writing, and not simply either in my head or aloud to my unfortunate family members. they don't deserve that :( i'm not sure what to do. i might just keep doing this and then eventually delete specific ones. i don't want to delete my blog; partly, because of the time that i put into it, and also because it just documents so much of my life that i would feel like i was erasing something important (even if no one else sees it). i think that's why i haven't deleted it, even though i haven't posted regularly in several years. at the time i had very few readers, but now they are all gone, and i've never properly moved on. so i guess that's why i'm back here. i can't really move on. i think it's mainly because i'm still so unwell (more mentally now i guess, as i am physically--on the outside--at a better place than i have been in the past several years)...i just can't let go of things. mentally and internally (gut, ibs, etc) things are a completely wreck. that's not new news to this blog though ;) i've shared a few too many complain and tmi posts that were probably not well-appreciated.
i started this a little while back, but i think i want to finish it. i just feel like writing, just to express myself a bit that doesn't involve other people ;P it looks like fall (autumn) but it's actually quite warm. where i live it's unseasonably warm, actually, but the leaves are still beginning to change. i love autumn. i love the colours, the temperatures, the styles. i have some negative memories or associations with this season (i think i do with all of them though, and that might be true for everyone) but i try to also take note of what i love about it.
i hope i can stop by occassionally to share little snippets (to no one, but that's okay) and some day they might actually be a little bit positive. that's all for now, though.
xoxjennifer
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