Thursday, March 24, 2011

trying to enjoy the small things

hey lovelies:):)

this morning for breakfast i had a little bowl of plain oats, with a few yummy additions. i like to call it my "oatie & cold cereal mix bowl of goodness". that might have been a little bit lame.

it resembled this, but the banana was eaten before coffeeee...and
i had some dry cereal (rice crispies, kashi honey sunshine and a
tiny bit of granola on top, with some skim)

i am posting again, but much later then i had planned...i want to make it more worthwhile, yet i don't have a ton to say! i hope you don't mind a collection of images, not always my own and not always about breakfast and food and what not. my camera still isn't functioning very well. i hope to be able to use it more often very very very soon. but there are such beautiful photos out there, and i wish i could capture things like that.

haven't had a coffee-to-go a la audrey for some time now, can't we all just be her?

food-wise...well i've been eating a bit i guess. i have been having stomach issues, just not nice at all, for a while now. its affecting what i eat too and im just so terrified of things most of the time. not much variety, but having breakfasts consisting of oatmeal, cold cereal mixes, and more oats...bananas :) i love bananas. i remember reading about the family who went 'local' for a year, and didn't get bananas as they came from Costa Rica or something. excuse my complete ignorance. i should look that up right now. i would not be able to do that i don't think. fail. but i need my nananaers. seriously.

i've been having lots of cold cereals, though i haven't yet opened my raisin bran cereal (which i used to eat all the time and only this) similar to the above yummy look

ive had bread and what not, various kinds of too-expensive artisan sort of spelt bread? one kind is a breakfast bread, but i don't have it for breakfast. its cinnamon raisin, smells so heavenly and looks like this

i was just thinking about things that make me happy, as i was just moping as usual and being a sad sob case :P i mean, i love family so much. but for material things, and food....

yummy muesli with combinations of various dried fruits...
bananas came to mind. i love them. the thing is when i learned about the glycemic index and discovered that they were high on the scale i fliiiipped and rarely ate them. now i have them all the time. i guess i figure its not like eating pure sugar even though they contain a lot of natural stuff. sometimes i have nearly two a day if i can.

yogurt, with honey (a darker type if possible)...
honey is one of my very favourites

i love clothing. fashion. and everything related.

this know what? i've had it on my computer tab for a few months. its always there. i always have to watch a bit of it, especially if im feeling sad in any form, or scared or anxious (sort of similar? aha).


i have a question, and it might be a bit too much. but for those of you on meds, more like ssri's...its something i've taken in the past, and i might be doing it again. i am not trying to seek help from here, i know it's not safe but i just thought i'd see what other people thought about it. i've been told im not trying to help myself or putting effort into certain recovery and what not. i feel like im always trying, but its like certain fears become very strong that its all you can do just to cope, let alone try more risky things...does that make any sense? ugh im just confused. and sort of discouraged. if someone told me this would be my life, me...everything, a little while back. i'd be pretty depressed. i just feel like a total failure. because i have NO excuse. nothing. i don't need to be like this. i keep thinking about my high school. it was so tiny and i didn't enjoy many aspects, yet the small size meant a really amazing teacher-student ratio, we were all super competitive and i was just insane about work. and my average upon graduation was just so much higher than now i feel, and i just need to do well. i feel like im telling too much. some time i'll need to go through my posts and edit just makes me feel scared. plus most of you are doing so well. often eating issues come with this perfectionism that i once had, but don't. so now that i feel like im failing at things, its like im not like the others, and if i have issues i should be working harder. i don't think i'm making any sense. its hard to write down what's going on in my head.

anyway...what a way to leave you all eh? aha. but i do have to go. study. go get groceries if i stop feeling so ill. maybe have some lunch. etc. i will be back i promise. but i've also been going on tumblr more, its a way to express myself and, what i love, is that you can just put these photos up, and get them from other people, share...without having to write and explain why you like them. that's what i love about it. mine it linked above. but ew i don't want to be like promoting myself on here :P

i hope you're doing well, i will make sure to comment more on posts, i do read them but...sometimes slash nearly all the time...i don't comment, which is hypocritical because i love comments on mine. but i love you all a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot...xoxoxoxox


  1. haha, that last little confession made me smile... who DOESNT love a comment on their blog eh?!?! no shame in that :-)
    so heres on for yooooou!

    Sorry to hear you've been having stomach troubles. believe me, i know how u feel! i get gastro trouble all the time and it drives me freaking mad. As if recovery werent hard enough without the struggles of a grumpy tum!

    But as you say, remember the small things... if you love them naners, you HAVE them! i went to costa rica at xmas on holiday, and they have plenty of fruit over there so im sure they dont mind sparing a couple for you :P

    ohmygaaad, i LOVE raisin bran too! except over here we call it sultana bran. i have a massive cereal bowl before bed every night now mixed in with various other cereally goodness. its the ultimate comfort food i think....

    As for the blog, do what you like... its YOUR blog after all! a little bit of muddle is good for the soul anyway right?! my blog never seems to be very organised, but hey... thats just how i roll. im not gonna try and be something im not!


  2. Your blog always makes me crave cereal!

  3. aww clemmy is that because of sultana raisins? that's a type of raisin right...please say yesss. tank you so much and oh my god stomach issues are not nice :( sorry you have that as well. teheee the banana thing made me smile :D i have not had raisin bran in ages though...i hope its not too much fiber or something...little bits to begin with? anwho love you. and this reply to your ocmment is like longer than the comment itself..gah

  4. and laura yeee cereal :) thank youxox