Saturday, May 14, 2011

j'aime rêver :)

hey lovelies :):)

this was posted thursday, my brother's birthday but it was deleted with the whole blogger mishap:/ bummer...pretend its thursday, because im going to.

breakfast was a lovely cold cereal bowl. similar to the above in that it included shredded wheat mostly, along with multigrain LIFE cereal and original special K, almonds, cinnamon, ginger and skim milk :)

i've been sort of making changes, sort of not. i find when im stressed i resort back to older habits, well i guess not too old as i've developped some more recently. but i've been trying to have new foods or even ones that i used to have but i've been scared of as of late. that sort of sounds lame :/ i have a lot of things opened and not (i don't like to waste, but i mean i like a variety, and a few things i have yet to opened but i worry they might go bad)...and im going to try them all :) i just have been feeling like ugh gross i i don't deserve food. i just feel like i put so much effort and time and thoughts and stress and physically-draining time pretty much, into planning and eating or not eating and its just selfish. and im still odd about food around people, or judging myself, if i eat more than someone else especially if they're bigger im just thinking wtf jen no...:( i just feel like i should not be having this much sometimes. or for example if i eat breakfast and a morning snack, and say my brother has not had anything yet, i feel like he's going to make a comment, and it could just be thing completely light comment which would be like a daggar and i think i shoudl learn to accept things and not be sensitive. he didn't say anything, by the way, i just mean if that happened :P

this was the photography i had hoped to include in my last post, my signature to make sure that no one took my book probably :P

afternoon snack bar :) i think its a canadian company, this one is my favourite flavours, its tiny but this compact sort of thing

i can't quite remember what was written in the original post. im so upset it was removed/deleted :/ but...hmm well i've had non cold cereal (oats) two days in a row. scottish, and then quick oats this morning, with an apple (it's been a long time since i've done that) and cinnamon, ginger, almonds and cinnamon life. quite simple compared to other days. simple is nice right :P? i have a photo for next time i believe.

yummyness and some of my spices :)

birthday boy (now he would murder me if he knew this was on here...:/ tried to sort of blur his face aha)

hmm so, okay im back to the present day. my brother's family birthday dinner was friday, steak, potatoes, salad. i had a small bit of steak :D and a large baked (on the barbeque) white perhaps yukon gold? yellow ones good baked though, and it was lovely. and i had cut up cucumber. and tried a few bites of my mom's salad which had dressing, a store-purchased mix and gosh i don't know if its just that i never ever have dressing really...but it was sooo good :) if my other post comes up (or comes back...from the dead or what not) ill just leave both :P because i do want to post something soon, sort of on the last few days.

russell peters, funnnnny canadian comedian if you don't know of him, one of the things my brother received last night thus we watched some :P

there's a story with these boots...

these were my first pair of uggs, and i wasn't planning on getting more. i took ridiculous good care of them and didn't wear them much in snow, and wiped them so much and freaked out if they got anything on them since i had saved up for these...eventually though they had holes and couldn't be worn in the cold. so i brought them to my cottage for summer wear :P and finally got another pair. then a tall pair. but i don't ever want to get rid of them.

lots and lots and lots of love
...even more than cold cereal
(which is saying something :P)


  1. Jen, I am so proud of you for trying foods that you are fearful of. I know it is hard, but it will feel much better if you can truly overcome it. I know putting all your energy into eating/not eating is exhausting, and that is why it is important you keep on battling through, nourishing yourself properly, as it will become normal eventually. You do deserve to eat, you are a beautiful, smart young woman, and everyone deserves food. I know comparing is hard, you just have to remember some people just eat at different times.
    Hope your brother had a good birthday, well done on the steak :)