Wednesday, July 18, 2012

wednesday july eighteenth

hello loves :) it’s finally a bit cooler today, yesterday was insane!

i went for a short run this morning, and i couldn’t go one way in the ravine because the bridge area, along with the path was blocked by maybe, gosh two or three large fallen trees? i sort of climbed under and over them, and contemplated going across the river area to get to the other side, but i decided against it ;P it was sort of annoying though, the path that i went on was not level and often blocked with trees, water, lots of mud. and it was still pretty humid out :/ ohhh well. what can you do…

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finally, a breakfast photo :) this morning’s oatmeal was a mixture of quick and old fashion (love old fashion! so chewy & nutty) and raw almonds, walnuts, banana! and cinnamon/ginger, topped with a few things along with a bit of almond milk. and coffee of course. in a very season-appropriate mug i should add.


so i was asked to (or tagged..) in the versatile blogger award, which made me smile!  i know i’ve only done one linked award before…i think it was this one? a little while ago…but the lovely alexandra from wildheartcity nominated me for this award just a little while ago…and we come from the city, which pretty much means that, well it’s a cool thing ;P


ughlskdjflksj efff. i tried to start this post a while ago and thought i had saved it…i didnt’ even know i had to save things on windows live writer as i never had before. efffing thing was gone. hmphf! i tend to start posts and come back to them, which makes them really incoherent aha. anyway, i was actually tagged in another one a while ago, where i wrote like paragraphs about each lovely blogger i was ‘tagging’ which made the post go on for days. it’s here actually. i stopped writing this post before because i honestly could not come up with even one thing. maybe i had already mentioned the fact about me…or maybe i was brain dead. or had nothing interested to say about myself. yet, well i still  manage to write lengthly posts every time even though im not interesting, in a good way at least ;P but then i started to come up with some.

i present….meeeeeeeeee!

1. i love to act. i really would love to act in films, i know it’s one of those long-shot sort of goals or dreams, but i’ve wanted to do this, well probably since i was like five. but…i haven’t gotten anywhere for a while. i mean, i did school things and a lot of both theatre and on-camera courses, and started off in the acting program at university…but the past few years have been another story. i would also like to be a part of films, anything…production, music (especially. the score…its one of the best parts of a film, for me…how to train your dragon?!? it gets to me every single time). i love the intimacy of film, and on-camera stories. i do like watching theatre, but it’s never been my favourite thing. for film, its not just because it’s watched by so many, the actors become famous, etc. it’s just that intimacy, it’s the closeness. it’s also the whole mood and how film has an ability to just capture every part of me. i love losing myself in a film…sort of like reading, which comes next…

2. i need to read. i love reading. i mean, i require it to survive. i must have a book on hand, along with another stack waiting for me, at all times. i read before bed, i just love to do that. i use it as a form of escapism probably, just like with films, and stories in general. i guess that might be why i am interested in blogging, and reading other stories,  other people’s lives. it’s quite rude of me, isn’t it? nosy parker, jen. get OUT!! ;P (i think that’s the saying…parker? idk i hope so)

3. i act like a kid. first of all, i eat like a toddler. or maybe a ninety-nine year old with stomach issues. there’s a ‘two and a half men’ quote that alludes to alan’s diet…something like an eighty-year-old with stomach cancer. its also products too, like arrowroots, graham crackers, animal crackers (not brand name but there are these generic organic ones, actually a line called’ ‘presidents choice’, so it’s a bit cheaper but with good ingredients! i guess they try to limit what they put it little ones’ mouths, and they’re small items. and the ingredient list is hopefully easier to tolerate. i guess because they have smaller, younger, weaker stomachs? like mine. (the weaker part, i guess mine is old)


like theeeese, ah so cute. the flavour reminded me of like strawberry frozen yogurt or something? i’ve probably mentioned a few of the other things on here. also, i was looking through a ‘baby’s first seven years’…you know the books that you document your child’s early life (side-note here, sort of sad. but my mom only filled out a few pages, though my brothers’ is totally completed…figures ;P…so i started to do it myself but i was still only like eight and the writing is awful baha…) anyway, my first fruits were bananas and applesauce (which i “loved”)…same today!! and apparently my response to cereal the first time: mmm ;) see? i haven’t changed! i freak out if i don’t sleep well. but that happens all the time.

(initially this was just one long response, but i realised i could make it into, like, three things tehe…)

and...part two of 3?... i love children's’ programs:


…like ‘erky perky’ (honestly the best show, but not known, its an australian-canadian coproduction i believe)…arthur of course, little bear in the mornings. i haven’t really watched any since coming back home. at my other place with my brother, it was just a large apartment and we had a tv in the living area/kitchen, so it was often on if i ate breakfast. so i sort of got attached to that, idk i get really attached to things like this, it’s pretty embarrassing. i remember the first time i went to france, i was ten (just a family vacation) and in the last ‘stretch’ we stayed in paris for about five days. and our hotel room had obviously just french channels, but one cartoon channel which i hadn’t really watched before was in english. and played classics like ‘tom and jerry’. now, don’t go worrying, we did not sit and watch tv all day (thats a no no with my family/parents) but i guess i watched some of it in the evenings. and i cried when i went home, realising that i’d never see it again. it sounds ridiculous, five days of seeing a few of the shows and it became a comfort, or something.

i know it sounds like im just a pathetic adult trying to be a kid, holding onto childhood…odd-ball. that’s probably exactly what who i am, though.

4. i love the radio. i used to just listen to classical music straight…one a independent toronto classical station. it was pretty repetitive though and, because it wasn’t a government-owned station, it had a lot of commercials. but i love the CBC. there is radio1 and radio2, and i used to listen to the second station because it…well, played a lot of classical music ;P but recently i’ve started listening to the other one, they’re main program. and it deals largely with news, but also hosts a lot of programs which i find fascinating. i didn’t force myself to listen to it, i just love it. i’ll probably have another freak out when i start working outside more regularly, missing the news and what not ;P


see, age is nothing to me. except for the fact that i cannot deal with my age, and the aspect of getting older. but i don’t discriminate. ooh, see this book was given to my mom a while ago by myself and my brother. we found it, along with an (equally-as) old book on katharine hepburn in our old small-town library. i think she was offended. and looked at it initially, but i re-discovered it recently and she started laughing. i think she’ll begin to read it again, now that she’s definitely surpassed that age by…like eight years almost?

5. i don’t know if it makes sense to mention this, as i talk about it so much. but i have phobias, a lot of anxiety. but specifically i’ve had a fear of being sick (as in vomiting…i hate writing the word out aha :/) since, like, birth. and i know people say, oh i know me too. that might be true, but this goes wayyyy beyond that. and the extent of the fear probably would be considered an odd ‘fact about me’ ;P  but its actually, along with the other high anxiety levels and obsessions and fears, sort of hell. and it has a name too! emetophobia. in grade 12 i came across it online because in the uk its more known, and they have like support or forum sites, im sure they have a lot of forums like that online for various issues/diseases/conditions. i guess sort of like blogging about eating issues, but its not like a public blog area or anything. so, well ive become fixated with like viruses, and just go on high-alert if i hear about it (even though i could just not hear about so many and obviously come into contact with it) but i’ve read about symptoms, and obviously had them first-hand, and had people i know experience it. but because i have awful ibs and often suffer from like daily issues, bowels and what not…its worse because i have such a fear of getting sick and having the symptoms and if i get them im literally…tmi i guess, having panic attacks. on the toilet. and what not. sorry this is an unpleasant fact about me i guess lol…

6. i just remember that i was tagged by the adorable emily back in december. so im using that as my sixth thing, and here it is: linked…and you should probably check to see how many things i repeated. actually almost none! pretty good i think :p

7. this isn’t really a fact…but i was wondering, have you tried puffins cereal? i had read so much hype and love about it and always tore my eyes away since it was a tiny box for a pretty high price (at least where i live) and, well i love other cereals, and since i didn’t know if 'i’d like it, among other reasons, didnt’ get any. but, a little while ago (on my birthday) i was shopping with my mom and it was on sale at one store we were at, and it was my birthday. i just opened it yesterday but i totally had the whole thing wrong, i guess i didn’t read properly, the ingredients or labels. i guess i thought it was like a light/fluffy cereal, but its pretty much the exact taste as those quaker corn bran squares (which i do like! though i prefer the oatmeal squares because i like the flavour). idk…do a lot of countries not have quaker corn bran squares and thus didn’t notice that they seemed the same? odd…and its much higher in fibre than i thought, though i guess that’s the corn bran, mostly insoluble i guess, which i sometimes have to be wary of (well, anything really, soluble too i guess…blah im going on :/) but maybe i just need to try it again and expect a different taste ;P i just got the plain ones though, so maybe the cinnamon or pb (which i’ve never seen where i live) are more distinctively ‘puffin-like’? lol…its just that i was so excited because so many people raved about them. but its not like they are not good (in my opinion) just not at all what i had expected.

i really thought that i was going to be able to write a post in addition to this…i figured the seven things would take up no space, but i should have known…oh and i tried the puffins again and i guess the next time they were different, but i haven’t had a proper bowl or anything, just dry or mixed with things, etc so perhaps that is how i’d get the whole ‘experience’? hm im not sure. are they supposed to be like imitation (and healthier..) captain crunch cereal? i haven’t had those in aaaages, i remember coming back from university first year, maybe at christmas. and i asked my mom, before boarding the plane in halifax, what cereal she had bought and she said ‘captain crunch’ and i was sooo freaking excited. then i came home and it was the quaker corn bran squares ;P but that’s okay, i ate them and was pretty happy.

that’s all, i hope you’re all enjoying your weeks! xoxox


  1. I like Peanut Butter Puffins, but I never buy them 'cause of the price and I also like oat-y type cereals better? Like Barbara's Multigrain Shredded Spoonfuls I think it's called (similar to Life cereal). Or I like cereals that mix flakes, clusters, and twigs lol. so yeah, Puffins are over-hyped... to each their own.

    I REALLY enjoyed reading the way you wrote about your passion for films. "Intimacy" is the perfect word. I've never wanted to be an actress or anything, but I do share your appreciation for the "moods" of movies. I'm really attached to some films as if they are a part of me lol. And I watch them over and over and over.

    1. they do sound intriguing, and of course the cinnamon ones sound good, i love cinnamon so...;P but i haven't seen them and i might just get them if they're on sale again. yea i think barbaras are like the multigrain life, that's a good flavour. and she has like oatmeal squares like the quaker ones i believe, but that brand along with a few others are usually just sold in either huge stores (like the chains in my area are a bit smaller versions of the stores so its not there) and health food stores. anyway, long response here. thank you for getting through the post ;P unless you just managed the first part, which i understand. and yesss films are just magical. i watch some over and over and over as well, the same with certain novels. shows, etc.xoxox

  2. Hey! Just read your last 2 posts. I don't think you need to feel embarrassed/regretful of the July 10th post. I think I commented on that one. What happened with your parents? Were they trying to have an "intervention"?

    I think if someone judges you based on how you felt in one point in time...that's stupid. However you feel at one moment doesn't define who you are.

    Anyway, for point of reference - I'm the one that shares the same birthdate as you - 6789.

    1. hey :) no, well i mean it was regarding treatment but since im living at home at the moment, i don't have a great deal of choice (unless i can get better). and that's cool about our birthdays though ;P hope you have a good one xox

  3. Hi! Congrats on your nomination- you deserve it. Your blog is honest and interesting and sprinkled with great pix. Second, your breakfast looked really yummy. I loved learning a bit more about you through your facts- though most of it I knew already. As for your phobias- I understand those all too well. It can be truly hindering and ppl rarely understand the gravity of the situation. Atm my BF is having a hard time with all of it and is resorting to laughing (nervous laugh) and humor- which does not help. So hang in there. Sometimes trying to distract yourself or taking a shower can help- idk. As for puffins -it's been yrs since I've had any. I don't honestly remember if they were puffy or not. Sorry. So glad that you are running even if there are trees in your way. Gah- I would love to go for a run again. Maybe next week once this week settles down a bit. Hope your living situation at home is improving a bit. You definitely don't have to feel guilty/embarrassed about sharing on your blog - especially about the possibility of treatment. I mean everyone who reads your blog is here to support you!! Lots of hugs xoxo -T

    1. :) thank you love, hope today is a good day ;) xox

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