some large flake oats with banana, cinnamon, wheatgerm, yummm flax
granola, organic wheat squares...a few strawbs
okay wowww im so not loving things right now. but my parents stated that i'm very negative and despite the issues that i'm going through i just need to make the best of things. its just very hard. i've been ill or something for over a week making it sort of hard to be happy, and i'm just extremely anxious about everything. and last night, a bit tmi but i'm having pain, lots of pain, from that 'time' and i get very nauseous and its hard to eat anything but i can't take anything for the pain unless i eat. i'm just in a messy rut i guess. i feel like things are happening to me one after another like challenging me? or wanting me to fail?? that's what it feels like...i stupid test. and i hate it so so so much. i hate being angry and i hate being a bitch. but i just feel like crap all the time so im miserable and i make awful company too. i don't like this, i really don't. i hate to give up on stuff but honestly i'm just not strong, and i'm not positive enough to go on.
anyway a good thing did happen yesterday...i have a family wedding at the end of july (my first wedding EVERR) and i went with my parents a little while ago to look for dresses and one was very expensive, but was marked down. and i guess she held it for us and my parents went yesterday while i was in the meeting and apparently bargained and negotiated so it was so much lower than before, so they got it! i was so happy and surprised, so we'll probably split the costs but still, wow i mean this dress i know i can use it a lot, not just like a one-event thing so i was so happy about that!!!
before i leave you i have a photo
yesterday's breaky, a new hot cereal (10 grain cereal) with org
multigrain squares on top, some banana mixed in, tons of cinnamon,
and some skim
i want to be happy and i'm making an effort (not enough though), but honestly if i feel sick or sad or just poorly in some way, just reading posts can inspire me to eat and make a good meal, smile, and just makes my mood increase. they provide that extra boost that we all--and especially me--need every once in a while.
i really appreciate all your support, and love reading your blogs, they're so inspiring