Sunday, June 27, 2010

little sunday note

hey lovelies :) :) just a quick post today as i have no idea when i'll be able to make my next one. i start training this week and i'm away on the weekend so its busy in the day, and i usually like to post in the morning time, i guess centered around breakfast? hehee...

some large flake oats with banana, cinnamon, wheatgerm, yummm flax
granola, organic wheat squares...a few strawbs

okay wowww im so not loving things right now. but my parents stated that i'm very negative and despite the issues that i'm going through i just need to make the best of things. its just very hard. i've been ill or something for over a week making it sort of hard to be happy, and i'm just extremely anxious about everything. and last night, a bit tmi but i'm having pain, lots of pain, from that 'time' and i get very nauseous and its hard to eat anything but i can't take anything for the pain unless i eat. i'm just in a messy rut i guess. i feel like things are happening to me one after another like challenging me? or wanting me to fail?? that's what it feels like...i stupid test. and i hate it so so so much. i hate being angry and i hate being a bitch. but i just feel like crap all the time so im miserable and i make awful company too. i don't like this, i really don't. i hate to give up on stuff but honestly i'm just not strong, and i'm not positive enough to go on.

i saw a specialized doctor for stomach issues and eating, so i was overwhelmed with information but i'll share just one thing, regarding diet i guess. she wants me to eat a ton more protein, like something with every meal and 60 or so g a day...that's seems like so much :( some of the meal plans made me sad since its not like cereal or oatmeal and i love picking the things i enjoy instead of just like eating to live you know? if it's not something i love than i just don't enjoy eating it and all-round look at eating as a chore. but im wondering...i mean lots of hot cereals have tons of protein like 10+grams, and can you add the whey protein (never had it but i think i'm be getting some today as she wanted me to) to oats or would that be really gross aha...anywho i hope adjusting my diet will help me feel better. but i also have to do tests for allergies and possibly take supplements and everything like that. that's a bit expensive though.

anyway a good thing did happen yesterday...i have a family wedding at the end of july (my first wedding EVERR) and i went with my parents a little while ago to look for dresses and one was very expensive, but was marked down. and i guess she held it for us and my parents went yesterday while i was in the meeting and apparently bargained and negotiated so it was so much lower than before, so they got it! i was so happy and surprised, so we'll probably split the costs but still, wow i mean this dress i know i can use it a lot, not just like a one-event thing so i was so happy about that!!!

before i leave you i have a photo

yesterday's breaky, a new hot cereal (10 grain cereal) with org
multigrain squares on top, some banana mixed in, tons of cinnamon,
and some skim

i want to be happy and i'm making an effort (not enough though), but honestly if i feel sick or sad or just poorly in some way, just reading posts can inspire me to eat and make a good meal, smile, and just makes my mood increase. they provide that extra boost that we all--and especially me--need every once in a while.


i really appreciate all your support, and love reading your blogs, they're so inspiring


  1. YAY! so glad you got the dress of your dreams.... was it the joseph one? we have that designer in the uk and their stuff is sooo nice, so im sure you will look stunning :-)


  2. yessss. wait did i mention the joseph thing already? otherwise you are psychic. thanks so much love xox

  3. wow i totally mentioned it a few weeks ago aha

  4. Aw, girlie :(
    Maybe having the wedding to look forward to will cheer you up? I find it helpful to try to stay busy and do things that I enjoy. It put me in a positive mindset.
    Things will get better!

  5. yes i am excited for the wedding lol thanks love :)

  6. adorable! Sounds like fun :)