Monday, November 8, 2010


hey lovelies :):) its getting coooolld. but i like it rather than the heat i think

some of my desk at home :)

*****this morning i tried, for the first time ever, scottish-oats! just for myself, i was planning on making it for others but they weren't interested today. i'm always/usually nervous to try new things, so i was hesitant. it tasted quite creamy and sort of gelled in the bowl afterward. sounds unappealing but it reminded me of something...i think cream of wheat? the brand i have is bob's red mill organic, i have quite the assortment of bob's products in my fridge and freezer (wheat germ, natural bran for baking, scottish oats, oat bran, cornmeal for baking, bulgar...)

topped with cinnamon, a few tbps flax granola, Quaker oatmeal squares and sliced banana mixed in

i liked the taste, texture and just how it was easy to clean, i mean the pot was placed under the tap and the stuff just came off in a film! also sounds nasty but i was happy about that part :P

i also loved the package, i felt scottish for a few seconds...aha.

the air smelled so fresh, which is saying something since i live in a large pretty polluted city :P where i go running (sometimes) its in this ravine area and its just filled with leaves now and smells like a provincial park near my cottage, mmm:)

mmm teas...mostly peppermint and sleepytime :)

one of my breakfasts this week was large flake oats with a bit of flax granola on top, but the addition of 3 small ginger snap-like cookies which added sweetness and this nutty ginger flavour when they sort of melted with the heat of the oats. that sounds gross but it was ahhhmazing :) truly. i've been reading the clique books...i know they're meant for like 13 year olds but sort of addicting, and now i have their lingo in my head. not a good thing :S

i have this "pause" at my school this week, so i have no classes for some of my courses. still lots of work though, but i'll save a bit of money not traveling on the subway :P my brother and i might look at apartments though, as i will likely be moving in with him soon, especially once i'm done uni. and possibly investing in a larger place to rent out and stuff. i feel strange saying that on here but i don't believe anyone knows me for real or like where i live...well perhaps the city. shh don't tell.

yummy bars, optimum blueberry flax and nuts over chocolate luna

i realised that i have an addition to clothing, like purchasing new stuff, but i always watch my budget so i'm not concerned about that. lately its like online purchasing, and i bought jcrew for the second time in my life. the only other item i have is their jackie cardigan, basic in black which i purchased a few years ago when i went with my family to buffalo to shop, galleria mall yee...its where us Canadians go when the dollar is good :P just like now! i actually got crew-cuts, honestly those kids are my style icons, whyyy can't i be this amazing???

jcrew fall catalog
i also keep getting books on usually second hand, and they can be like one cent each but then they cost nearly seven dollars to ship, but all in all sort of a deal i guess.

breakfast last week of cold cereals, banana, almonds...

i've been sort of sad lately, well that often happens but i mean everything seems like such a chore, and i rarely feel happy naturally. when i went out to dinner that time with my family it was SO hard...but then when i just relaxed and ate it reminded me of when i used to go out to that restaurant all the time, even when i worried about calories and such, i just wasn't so paranoid about everything, and it was fun...i mean, things used to be fun and just more carefree and i don't know what my problem is, life shouldn't be this difficult. my life isn't that bad, but they way i am living right now it just gives off that feeling. and i don't look happy. apparently i just look like sick and sad...? fuck :(

i baked muffins! pumpkin(with raisins too), from one of anne lindsay's cookbooks

i was listening on the radio this morning and apparently (i wouldn't know as i rarely go there anymore :( ) um starbucks put up their like holiday shtuff the day after halloween aha and people are freaking out, so there was this debate on, when is it toooo early for that kind of thing, like this one guy was driving on the road and a station began playing christmas music and he nearly drove right off the road in shock. bahaha..not funny though if he had been hurt.

i used to start listening like mid november when this one station began playing non-stop until christmas and i'd be in my room doing homework. except not because i can't work with music but anyway, yea it made me happy. i used to get more excited about christmas but now it makes me scared and i HAAATE that. honestly like one thing that made me happy naturally is taken away because im so stupid and anxious and scared about every possible thing that can go wrong that i can never relax and enjoy the moment, and soon i don't know i mean anything can happen and i can't live like this, people die and so many people in my family (extended) are sick with like cancer and its just so sad, life is fragile....
okay, if i have any readers left...let me know what i should post about, i just want to write something happy and i run out of ideas besides just telling you what i'm up to. and since that normally isn't blog-worthy, i need more things :) i hope you're doing well, i always love to read your posts and even more adore reading comments ;)

love you lots!


  1. no babe, just write posts like you are right now! the most appealing thing for me about a blog- and probably the most helpful thing for you, idk- is when you are real with your readers. write what you feel. write what you think. it doesn't matter at all what other people think, or what you think other people think. ;) we love you just for being you!!! and i promise things will start to look up. i promise. talk anytime you want, okay? you know my facebook and email. love you. <3

  2. im not a writer though :( so nothing sounds elegant or anything. but thank you so so so much lovie xoxox

  3. Hun, i love your posts, they are YOU... keep writing what interests you and im sure it will interest us readers too :-)

    Im a sucker for that internet shopping too, its just so easy to click and buy and then you get a nice package in the post... its like christmas! (except you have to pay for your goodies) but still utterly addictive!

  4. i know, you sort of forget (well i don't but whatever) and then it comes and its like yeeee.

  5. peppermint and sleep time tea are my staples!

  6. Hey hun, i think u should continue being honest on your blog, just let yourself spill words onto the page, its really theraputic. Your blog is for you! i dread xmas day sometimes too, but i guess, there is always a positive side to everything, well, most things, in life and thats what we can look on to make life easier. :)

  7. Your posts are great :)
    Keep it up girl.. you can do this.. ox

  8. i love peppermint tea like every night :) and thanks so much Fi, i used to love Christmas though :( i love the feeling of the season. and thank you so much^^^

  9. hey, just found your blog. :)
    Love christmas music, i think ill put some on now. & I known how you feel about being nevous/anxious about everything. I've been told to stay 'present int he moment' its hard, but worth it. Keep you head up <3

  10. hey :) thank you so much love xox