back to this weekend...i had this random urge to make pancakes. and just bake things in general, i was looking through old cookbooks, one from 1930 and it was canadian i believe (not that it matters, i guess i just like adding that in whenever i can tehe) but stressed liver and what not in the diet, high iron, and a lot of the photos, though there weren't many, were in that odd technicolour, and another book had a lot of photos/paintings? of like jellymoulds aha and salads like that. i guess they were popular once upon a time. but we didn't have any ingredients. at all really. but i will do that when i can. for sure, and i'd like to make pancakes. i don't know why its such an issue. i could do them whole wheat and make it all by scratch and see what's in it, create my own thing, have however many i would like...but it makes me feel anxious and its not just the calories and fat. honestly i think it might end up being much less than what i had today for example. but i feel like i won't be full or i will be or it might not be 'right'. stupid stuff really. and when i started restricting/ed stuff a long time ago that part was not usually an issue. actually i lied. i remember on instance with french toast but that was when my parents usually cooked everything. then i started getting into preparing my own things, partially for that whole 'control' thing and also because i wanted to eat healthier things and i liked to cook! so...yes that is a goal for me, and i could do it with family so its more fun, because not too long ago i would make pancakes on weekends or special occasions or just randomly. so i will i promise :P
i always spend so long just organizing and going through old and current things in the house/cottage, sort of reminiscing i guess. but it was cleaned last weekend (the spring cleaning) and i had to put my things back in the shelves, partially books and also like old child things, not stuffed animals exactly but beanie babies. i was crazy about collecting those and they were not cheap or anything so i still have those :) but i think we have a mould issue, and it wasn't that much of a problem but a little while ago i started getting this allergic reaction when i went there and would like get all itchy and throat closing and eyes watering and what not, etc. the first time was like a few days before my hschool graduation aha i was a bit worried. so i would just take drugs when i went up there aha and yea that was all pretty much. but i think it was mould, just from moisture and books on the shelves, so it gets cleaned in the spring i think. but i could sense/feel it when i was putting the books back on the shelves. i sort of want to keep those, keep the younger books in the family and pass them on? that would be really cool. though the future kids/grandkids (mine i guess?) will probably be like wtf that stuff is so old. i bet there won't even be print books in a while :/ ahhh sad all electronic or something ;( i love love love to read and just actual books and not on a screen, that's part of reading, sort of like when you read the newspaper as opposed to online, it's part of the whole experience, even though news is news.
so, that's really all :) i must get up to more cool+exciting things so i can share them :P i do hope you're all doing well and enjoying life :) i know i keep complaining about the warmer months in terms of hotter weather :/ but the beginning of summer can also mean a time for change, and i know i have to make quite a few this time, it's not really an option. so i will :P even though thats really terrifying.
love you like banana in oatmeal :)