Saturday, July 9, 2011

just a saturday

"the little girl wasn't supposed to know. she had been forbidden to play in the bramble maze. mamma and grandmamma had told her it was dangerous to go near the cliff. but sometimes, when no one was looking, she liked to do forbidden things"

- The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton


hey lovelies :):)

this photo is not mine, however i had a mixture of toasted old fashion rolled oats and organic scottish oats :) on the stove cooked in water, with cinnamon&ginger (no banana but i had some beforehand!), with almonds and a few raisins, a touch of natural dark (forest) honey, and nonfat soymilk and this (gf) brown rice chex cereal.

i've been trying to be positive each day, but im having a bit of trouble. ive been feeling very sick/ill lately as well and have had not-so-nice symptoms which is both painful/annoying and scary for me. but...i guess i just have to keep going. its very hot too which isn't my first choice :P ahhh i long for autumn :)

a breakfast from home (my family's house) this past friday...after a very short run. i wasn't feeling that well at all :( it seems to be a bad trend... :/

"banana ginger oats"

oats with bananana, ginger, cinnamon, almonds + dry cereal (multigrain + "o's")...hoping i'd feel less ill :/ very excited for the last harry potter. well, sad of course. but also excited. i don't know if i'll be able to see it right away as i never bought tickets online, essentially the only way to see it within the first few weeks. but i know what happens obviously so i don't need to rush :) do you like the novels and/or films? i love love love the books, the writing is wonderful and the characters are so real to me.

my first kind bar, almond&apricot, no mention of coconut in the title but i should have read further. not that i don't like it...its just not something i'm used to or choose to eat often (or at all really :P) and this was filled with large pieces. but it was actually okay :)

i've been having a bit of trouble (well a lot) sleeping. i normally take a long time to fall asleep, unless im dead tired or take something (which doesn't always help though)...but lately even if im dead tired, i hear so many noises and think about things and just it takes hours often. and then i wake up early for numerous reasons and cannot fall back asleep. i know i've read something about lack of calories affecting sleep, and i never bothered to worry about it since i felt i was getting enough. but lately i might have less calories (not necessarily food and not really on purpose initially) at dinner, like my pm and evening snack can almost equal the same amount, which seems scary...either i eat much less for dinner or my snacks are too high. but it evens itself out i think. unless im at home and eat with my family, then the meal is higher and i try to even things out and have less as a night snack/dessert...something i found difficult at my cottage since the dinners often amounted to more calories than when i make mine at home for myself. but should that affect my sleep? i mean, a while ago when i ate much much much less i don't remember having too many issues with sleep. unless i've forgotten. or maybe it wasn't something i focused on since my mind was on other things. ugh its annoying but more so just scary, and hopeless. not being able to sleep is like one of the more hopeless and helpless feelings. i just start to cry sometimes just willing myself to fall asleep but obviously that does not help. and i worry i'll get ill if i don't sleep enough. and then my whole day im worrying about, okay when will i go to bed this time, what if i sleep even less, what will happen...and so on. does anyone else suffer with this?

i shall go now :) and i hope you're all doing well. until next time lovely loves :P


  1. Hey love,
    First of thank you for my comment on my blog. :) I was actually going to wait till tomorrow to reply to this because I'm only on my iPod not my laptop and it's much harder to read and type, so I'm terribly sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I want you to know that you arent alone in panicking. I actually get alOt Of panic attacks recently. In terms of sleeping if it's hot try to sleep with minimal duvets etc so you don't wake up feeling too hot. Go to bed at a reasonable time but before you go I'm not sure what you do like if you have a routine but try not to be on a laptop or anything 1hr before bed as it stimulates your brain making you feel more awake, try getting into bed and reading a book instead. When I suffered so bad with insomnia I did this and if I still didn't feel tired I'd lye down any way and just preserver with this routine that's that bed times needs a routine like putting q child to bed. I found over time it really helped me. Sorry I've totally waffled on here. I hope it made sense and may help a bit xxxxx

  2. aw you are the sweetest, thank you so much for this! and im happy i saw your blog before you made the switch so now i can read it :) i have to read each night, like an addiction and if its one i like, i might read for a while but i typically try to go to bed earlier, but often im still awake for forever :/ than i wake up early often but i will try your tips, thank you so much again i appreciate it! xoxox

  3. Omg you look so sick, I hope you are getting help for your ED because you look like you are clearly struggling....

  4. Hi- I feel bad about the Anonymous posting- I didn't post that. I just found your blog. You are so strong and inspiring. Don't let that person fill you with negativity- ugh- what a jerk. One day at a time - it's all we can do. MUAH

  5. Hun, I am so sad to hear your struggling, you are such a wonderful person and you do not deserve to feel the way you do. I know you haven't divulged much about your health problems, but I pray they are not ED related, as I know how scary they are and how worrying it is, and I pray you feel better soon.
    Sleep is something I struggle with too, and I have always been told it is affected by how much we eat. By nourishing yourself and allowing yourself to relax, perhaps pop some lavender on your pillow, then you should get better rest.
    Thank you for your lovely comment, it means the world to me. We can both fight this.
    The anon poster is obviously simply concerned, but I do not appreciate the way they have phrased it!
    Stay strong lovvie xx

  6. sophie you're wonderful, and thank you for this. i guess some issues are ed but others are different, stomach, anxiety, etc. and many are related. and i appreciated the concern of the anonymous, i just didn't know what to say in reply. thanks again lovie xoxox