Friday, January 13, 2012

a big friday thank you

hey lovelies :):)

i just wanted to stop by & thank you all for being so kind. really and truly :) today is a new day, which is what i keep trying to tell myself. it's odd how i can begin to feel refreshed and motivated, believe that i will never be bothered by the fears that consumed me the day before, but then suddenly i'll be triggered and back to my old ways :/

oh well, it's the baby steps i guess! i feel a bit attention-seeking when i talk like this, but i guess that's sort of a given when you have a blog. i mean, you're just writing about yourself, so i think we're all allowed a bit of space to put things down, even if it makes us focus on ourselves more than what would be deemed 'acceptable'. but what the fuck is acceptable anyway, pushhh stooopid stuff right there, that's what i think :P slash not, but im trying to not be too bothered by what others believe, i normally get swept up in that and it's not healthy! to a certain extent, yes, im motivated when i think about, not only my own desires, goals and dreams, but the expectation of others. but then you can go a little bit too far.

anyway, i wasn't sure how to really say all of this so i made you another video ;) joyyyyys. i hope you'll watch it though, but it got a bit too long. and a bit shakey, like motion-sickness inducing perhaps. gahhh i hope not!

(it gets slightly less awkward partway through...or at least you can see my face, anyway; i look awful but that's life)

off to watch more of 'hounddog' again (if i can get the dvd to work, i don't know how to switch it from tv/cable to another setting, so that's sad). i promise this isn't a daily thing. this morning i was surprisingly productive, and i feel like it's a treat to watch a bit of something in the middle of the day. it feels wrong though. dakota fanning is quite amazing, and i've loved both she and her sister (elle) for a while. but this film, well it received a lot of controversy, it was an indie and they shot it somewhere quiet and remote. it's set in a small southern town and dakota's character, lewellen, is fascinated with elvis, and uses his music to get through rough times. but her character is raped, and that scene created such an uproar. but it still premiered at sundance and finally, in 2009 i believe, came to toronto for tiff and was released in very few theatres. but a few christmases ago, my brother and i were at wallmart and came across the dvd, so he bought it for me that christmas as a gift :) i think the film is wonderful though. it's sad, but the acting is brilliant and i believe it's one of dakota's best performances. which is saying a lot, because she has embodied each roll she's played, in my opinion.

what are some of your absolute favourite films? you can pick more than one!
i know i wouldn't be able to narrow it down either :P
& have you seen hounddog?

wow im actually proud that i managed to keep this short ish. well, minus the video part. again, thank you so much, that sounds repetitive and doesn't express my full gratitude, but i appreciate each and every one of you, i really dooo :)

xoxoxoxoxox X infinity


  1. Replies
    1. oh my gosh i love youu. & your accent/dialect/whatever, but i sound so manly and stupid :P jappy, even though that's not possible as i'm neither (sorry if that was offensive but my friends, jewish included, say it all the time, but yea its dumb)

  2. Hi! I posted a few days ago too. I'm so sorry that I didn't post yesterday- I know that you were in a really low place on Thursday. I'm so happy that your morning yesterday went better than Thursday. As for all of what you said on Thursday, I don't think it's 'nuts' at all. At the lowest point of my ED- I had so many thoughts similar to yours. They never completely go away but sometimes I just have to say 'fuck off'. But the thoughts do come back. Bleh.
    I don't have time to watch your video today but I hope to see it later tonight.

    1. hey :) you are such a sweetheart honestly. don't apologize ah! i keep posting so often and i expect less comments and readers then before, which wasn't much so it's totally okay. thank you so much xox