Wednesday, October 3, 2012

i don't want to wake up



dear odd little dreamer,

i hope this little note finds you well. and that it puts a smile on your face, as letter always do. i don't know where you are, or when you'll be reading this. i just hope that you have come to accept certain things about yourself, but that you have not lost hope. remember that you can always change, and that there is beauty in the world. even if you cannot see it right now.

are you happy today? you don't have to think about it. i hope you're not scared, sad, anxious, sick, or feeling down in any way. but that's rather unrealistic, because life has its ups and downs. yet, i do sincerely wish that you are reading this with a realisation that things are much, much, much better than they were before. and you should feel proud. even if you don't believe that you had any force in this change. 

and please, ...no more regrets. you tend to regret every little thing that you do, which only leads to unhappiness, leaving you unsatisfied and empty. you choose to do things for a reason, and it is not always a bad one. you must stick to some of these decisions and follow through with them. please remember this. it is essential.


you better be acting, odd one, in a movie perhaps? or maybe you're working behind the scenes. possibly living in another city...if you're not doing any of these things, do not fret. you will either get there soon, or you have accepted and changed your dreams and goals every so slightly to fit a newer you. but you do know what your heart truly desires, so don't doubt yourself. and at the same time, i really hope that you're somehow making movies, stories, and words come alive. because that is who you are, it is what you wish, yearn to become and neither you or i could really live with the notion that this dream never came true.


but dreamer, please stop being so afraid. afraid of everything. you think you're trying to make things less scary for yourself, you believe that by doing this you might suffer a little bit less, that you might feel a little bit less terrified, vulnerable, lonely & completely insane...but you're wrong. i'm not sure exactly why, and i don't quite know how to explain it. but just try to let go a little bit. 

oh, and you're actually hurting others much more than you might believe. now don't get angry, i realise that you're aware of this..but, at a certain point in your life, (and it has quite possibly happened already) you'll realise the full damage that you've inflicted upon--not just yourself--but upon others. i know the truth hurts, but denial is so much more dangerous.

well, that's all i have to write to you. who knows where you are, who knows what you're doing. but i hope you're here. and more importantly, i hope you now want to be here. 

until then, try to be happy :) xoxox



8 comments:

  1. This is a really beautiful post with a unique perspective. You've often said you're not a good writer or something of that nature. Well, you have proven yourself wrong. :)

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    1. mitri, you're too sweet. it's not good but you're a beautiful writer :) xox

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  2. hallo jen, i enjoyed reading this. i miss your posts. i really, really hope that you are doing well. xoxo, rosycros/patricia

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    1. patricia :) is that your url (rosycros), because that is one of my most favourite tumblrs, the images are so gorgeous, everything, i honestly just go through it and love everything. thank you so much for this. xox

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  3. Jen, This is beautiful. I've read it through several times over the last few days to try and find a response, but I can't find the words, except that this is beautiful. xxx

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    1. calla, you're amazing. i honestly don't know what to think of what i wrote, i feel sort of embarrassed and stuff. it didn't come out right. but i always love your words, comments, quotes. xox

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